Growing up and out and around
(AIR HORNS)
My birthday is in 13 minutes so get ready for some (BIG SPORTSCASTER VOICE) THOOOOUUUUGHTS ABOUT AGINGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! BWEER BWEER BWEEEER!!!!!! I promise it will be short.
Sometimes you see people and wonder how did you get like this and then realize oh, you were always like this. It’s strange to watch, as people go into the “adult” era of their lives, how they fall back into roles and tropes and ideas that seem to give them a defined path forward, something that they can hang their hat on in lieu of having it all figured out. At best it’s like okay, that’s what they were always going for I guess, maybe, at worst it’s the psychological equivalent of watching someone go to work for their dad’s company after a gap decade. I feel like I took a long time to get started, but there’s some advantage to the standbys not feeling particularly cozy: forward looks good and change feels natural, if sometimes terrifying. In other words: wake up, get up, get up, there’s so much work to do. Are you bored with this noodly soapboxing yet? Me too. What I’m trying to say is I’m forever-scared but fired up, ready to go. My husband is in remission. It’s been a year between 33 and 34. I don’t have it all figured out, I don’t have something I want to fall back on, but I do have perspective. BWEER BWEER BWEEEER!!!!!!
SOME NEWS AND LINKS
Baby’s first fiction! I have a speculative story in Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, about lakes and twins and the burn of gin in a bottle of Green River. It’s an honor to have pages in a publication I’ve long admired.
Last year, Miss Spoken hosted Show 'N Tell, a very visual live storytelling event. This year, we finally got the video up. Check out Bianca Xunise, Allison Catuira, Beth Hetland, Brandy Agerbeck (separate video for her piece!), and I suppose me and Jasmine Davila as well.
Speaking of Miss Spoken, our next show is on September 25th and the theme is My Generation. Do you think I can stretch out the first paragraph of this newsletter into 5-10 minutes? Come and find out! Or if that doesn’t appeal (understandable), Ines Bellina, Molly McGown, Amy Eaton, and Caitlin Brecht will bring you words and feelings about their eras.
I learned to drive when I was 27 and I think any adult can too. Lifehacker agrees and let me talk about how you can get a license when you’re well past prom.
The Crane Wife is a devastating and good essay: “There is nothing more humiliating to me than my own desires. Nothing that makes me hate myself more than being burdensome and less than self-sufficient. I did not want to feel like the kind of nagging woman who might exist in a sit-com.”
Another essay in that vein by one of my favorite authors, Jedediah Berry.
Davon Clark’s poem Praise to the Bus Ride gets how I feel about public transportation.
On Summer Crushing by Hanif Abdurraqib is so bittersweet. Fall is the worst season. (It’s still late summer.)
Look I’m just going to read everything I can about creativity and aging and working, please send me your favorites:
What a Woman Loses When She Turns Thirty Years Old (April’s podcast Switchblade Sisters, lady film-makers talking genre films, is excellent)
The price I pay to write (I read this every three months)
I have some feelings about movies and tofu and working to develop a consumer social conscience, but I want to go to bed before midnight. I don’t feel old but I have come to appreciate an earlier bedtime.