In our early days of dating, I told Sean I wasn’t really into the idea of cruises. (I wasn’t that polite. I said cruises were weird and for old people.) He sighed.
“You always want to go on trips. Sometimes you just want to go on a vacation.”
“They’re the same thing.”
“No. A trip is where you run around all day and see things and do things. A vacation is where you sit on a beach and someone brings you a drink.”
Almost a decade later, our dynamic remains relatively unchanged. I still don’t really want to go on a cruise (despite marketing efforts and essays that read like modern romance novels) , but I’ve warmed more to vacation — the idea that it is okay and good to go to a place and not be productive. It still doesn’t sit right: you mean I’m supposed have fun and it doesn’t matter if there’s any output? Slow down. More accurately, speed up: the American culture of overwork and the very profitable idea that you must always be doing something to earn your worth really does a number on you. I wasn’t going to write a newsletter because I don’t have any announcements and that makes me feel lame. But maybe that lame comes from the same place that says your desk should be an altar and anyway I am burying the lede.
We went to Japan for our honeymoon and it ruled very hard. I’m going to tell you what I learned.
How to Go to Japan
1. Take at Least a Week and a Half of Vacation if You Can
It takes a long time to get there and you have vacation days for a reason. It’s the softest and most insidious kind of social pressure, this idea that you’re a drain, a sloth, a slob if you’re not putting in 14-hour days and barfing from stress and neglecting your loved ones and the things that make you a more interesting person and also just like, a human being? Take it. Take it take it take it.
2. Go Places That Aren’t Tokyo
Remember how in Lost in Translation Charlotte didn’t really get Japan until she went to Kyoto? Her impulse was correct. We visited Tokyo, Osaka, and Kyoto, and maybe if Charlotte had gone to Osaka she would’ve dumped her husband and stayed there for a few years building an artist residency or running a cafe or something. Tokyo is amazing but it’s also A Lot, and it’s interesting to see other cities with different personalities. I started reading about Japanese regional stereotypes because I love how people talk about each other, and one of them described Osaka as “your aunt that wears leopard print”. Maybe that’s why I liked it the best: it felt a little less polished, industrial, the Chicago to Tokyo’s Manhattan. Go beyond Tokyo! It’s very worth it.
3. Get a Japan Rail Pass
You need this to get to non-Tokyo places. You also need it to take day trips from the city you make your home base (more on that next). You buy the pass in America and redeem it at the airport.
4. Make a City Your Base, Do Day Trips
Figure out what you want to do that’s close to the cities you want to visit. Stay in those cities, take the train to the thing you want to do, then come back and crash in your city at night. This gives you more freedom, since you don’t have to worry about switching hotels or packing up your clothing.
5. Rent a Wi-fi Pocket Router
Unless you are an heiress or otherwise untroubled by matters of economics, you don’t want to use your cellular data to check email and post to Instagram. You need a wi-fi router to connect to the Internet with your devices. We rented one from TelecomSquare at the airport after we arrived, and had no complaints.
6. But Also, Try Not to Rely Too Much on the Internet
Oh man I love researching things (like take visceral, Virgo joy in it) but having too many choices and plans can really suck the joy out of an experience. The Internet has made it possible to instantly find the very best meal/event/store, and 80% of the time that’s amazing. But it also creates a kind of flatness and exhaustion, fucks over small businesses, and exploring rewards you with new experiences. UGH I SOUND LIKE SOME GRAD STUDENT BACK FROM THEIR YEAR ABROAD but it’s true, one night in Kyoto we wandered around the corner from our weird, clinical hotel and ate perfect grilled salmon at a tiny izakaya. The meal was simple and amazing, and it was more chill and fun than typing “best izakaya Kyoto” into the ole Google. Try to wander and explore.
7. Wear Comfortable Shoes
Japan’s trains and busses are very good but sometimes you get sick of waiting for them. I brought sneakers and heels, because I like to look taller. I wish I’d brought a pair of comfortable non-sneaker shoes so that I could be vain, but also comfortably stroll places more than a 20-minute walk away.
8. Pack Light (Really Light)
Don’t bring more than a carry-on’s worth of clothing. Do laundry midway through your trip. You will still probably have things to take home: buy a giant duffel bag at fever dream of a discount store Don Quijote to contain them. You don’t want to haul a giant suitcase on the train or cram it in small hotel rooms. Which brings us to:
9. Ship Purchases to Your Final Hotel
This is a boring but very good tip. As you make your way through Japan, acquiring deer-printed tenugui (handkerchiefs) and Osamu Tezuka collections and beautifully packaged candy and stuffing them in your Don Quijote duffel, you will not want to haul it all with you. Send your non-essentials to the last hotel on your route. Every hotel where we stayed was very comfortable doing this.
10. Plan One Thing a Day
Japan’s a good place to practice not planning too much: it’s somewhere with a ton of things to do and my impulse is to do all of them and then have a meltdown. Having a too-tightly scheduled itinerary turns a vacation into work or school. Have just enough structure to make a decision: pick like, one or two things to do and then take the day as it comes. You don’t have to do both things. You can change your mind midway through and do something else entirely. I’m slowly realizing my husband is a moderating influence.
We created a map of recommendations. I hope you can take a vacation or a trip soon. Here is a video of Sean being chased by deer in Nara Park.