INTERSTATE DOUBLE FEATURE: Achilles Coney Restaurant and Charcoal Delights
Chicago has a diner problem
Every three or four weeks, Sean and I lightly bemoan the lack of good diners in Chicago. I know we have diners, but we have a lot more bougie brunch places and hole-in-the-walls. Those places can be good (emphasis on can), but more often than not I want a middle-of-the-road, cheapish but quality breakfast situation. And before you chime in that Chicago has diners: I know. We do. I think we could have more and I think they could be better. We don’t have the same diner culture as say, New Jersey or Michigan or even New Mexico. I feel like at some point people with disposable income decided that the morning meal had to be brunch with a capital B: fancy (or faux-fancy), fussy, boozy, An Event. Some brunch places are excellent, and my dislike of day drinking is between me and my brain (I’m just bad at it; if you can power through your day after two mimosas you have my respect) — but I do think they’re overrated and often not worth it. On the other side of the spectrum is the hole-in-the-wall, which has its place too — I liked Standee’s — but sometimes you want a place that does things well beyond milkshakes and gyros. The diner I’m talking about can be a greasy spoon but like, the grease was changed sometime between the Obama administration and the present day. Am I making sense? This kind of goes into it. Okay, let’s talk about some breakfast sandwiches! We’ll start in Michigan.
Sausage, Egg, and Cheese on Rye at Achilles Coney Restaurant
My in-laws live in Ann Arbor and the last few visits, we’ve had breakfast here before we head back to Chicago. I held back from ordering my favorite item, the only thing I order: a Greek omelette with gyros and rye toast. All in the service of this newsletter, which I write when I’m salty from another lit mag rejection and trying to remember why I do this. I got their breakfast sandwich. It was good. It’s nothing fancy, but it exemplifies what I want out of a diner: freshly made food, reasonable prices, and pre-buttered toast. When I say freshly I don’t mean they make the bread in-house; that’s fantastic if they do, but it can still be good if they don’t? There’s probably some essay out there about how weird and broken people got about food, how they became foodies (the worst word, as douchey as it sounds). I’ll try to sum it up with a mental health metaphor: it’s great to be on vacation at the beach, but you can also have a good time not being on vacation at the beach. I’ve had biscuits that blew my mind, but Sysco turns out a quality product. The ethics of food mega-corporations are inarguably bad, but they would not be profitable if their product did not taste good.
The Achilles rye was light, light, light: light texture, lightly buttered, lightly toasted. The eggs were a firm but not overcooked blanket that draped over it and they were topped with a mild or maybe medium cheddar. The sausage patties were the high note: juicy, slightly crumbly, not too greasy. It was simple and good. I dipped each bite in hot sauce. It’s okay that it wasn’t the best thing I’ve had so far; not everything on the expansive menu needs to knock it out of the park. Diners don’t have to be great. They need to hit a median point of tastiness, value, and relaxed vibes, and they’re good.
Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on Rye at Charcoal Delights
I first went to Charcoal Delights with my friend Wendy; when I asked about it, she extolled the virtues of its broasted chicken. It’s not a diner so much as a very local fast food restaurant, but it gives diner energy: unironically old-school, reasonably priced, an extensive menu with a few standouts but generally pretty decent (that good or good-enough median). The first time I went, she got the chicken and I got the patty melt and both were really good. The second time, I dragged a co-worker pal who had grown up in the area there for breakfast. It was decidedly okay, and that’s okay? I know mid means mediocre, but like…maybe, sometimes, mid is good? I’m okay with a totally okay meal; chasing a high few will attain gets exhausting and weirdly, makes everything melt together in a too-delicious sameness. Like loving a woman with a broken nose, etc. etc. I’m fine with a place that doesn’t knock it out of the park, or doesn’t knock everything out of the park all the time.
The rye was very similar to the bread at Achilles. The eggs were lightly scrambled, the bacon perfectly crisp-chewy (the Google description calls Charcoal Delights “meat-centric” and well, yeah), the cheese was American. The toast was not pre-buttered; that’s more of a true diner thing. But I’d go back. There’s not a ton of places like it here.